I Love the Way You Hate Me
by meveryrandom
Summary: :Song Fic: A journal entery of the relationship on Shizuo and Izaya, exposing all their love and pain for each other... and how they truley are suffering
1. I like the way it hurts

**_That's right! First DRRR fic on fanfiction!  
I told you guys more animes were coming~  
This is a song fic for "Love The Way You Lie" because it truley is a perfect song for the Shizaya relationship  
Told in Izayas POV and it does get crule to please enjoy~_**

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To say I was in love with a monster…was nothing short of the truth. He was strong, dangerously strong, and unstable. Why did I cling to him? Because I grew addicted…to both his anger and tenderness, I grew addicted to the point where I had withdrawals without him. I tangled myself up in such a dangerous web to where the threads wrapped around my throat. My life was on the line without him as much as it was with him… when you risk loving someone like Shizu-chan, you truly challenge death.

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn  
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts  
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry  
But that's alright because I love the way you lie  
I love the way you lie_

I truly did love you Shizu-chan, with all my soul. It wasn't until later that I realized I loved him all along…since the day I met him. In the school court yard, I had just transferred into Raira Academy. Meeting Shizuo was the biggest regret I will never regret, nor will I regret the way I greeted him. With a blade across his chest. I wanted to test him…test this human-beast. I wanted to push his limits and observe him… he caught my attention at first sight. Maybe that's why he hated me…because I treated him like an animal, using him in my experiments. He did catch me after I cut him, I let him catch me. I needed to know what he would do to me…and he took a cigarette to my chest.

As our…interesting relationship bloomed, every morning when I looked in the mirror at my bare chest after a shower, I would look at the burn mark and think of him. I wondered if he did that on purpose…I wondered if he burned me because he wanted his mark on me, he wanted me to always have a piece of him on my body. To always have him in mind… but Shizu-chan, you didn't have to mark my body to make me think about you. I willingly have you on my mind everyday when I'm not with you.

We grew a hate for each other but…we didn't. He threw his toys and such and would rant and shout my name, his hatred for me but I knew he never did hate me. He marked my chest but I marked his heart.

_I can't tell you what it really is  
I can only tell you what it feels like  
And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe  
I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight  
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight_

It was raining after school one late evening…I didn't know why he was still at the school that late but then again…why was I? Maybe…he was waiting for me…like I was waiting for him. Whatever the reason here we were. I walked over cautiously, he noticed me when the rain stopped pounding on his head and then he noticed I was holding the umbrella over him.

"Hey…" he said softly, not even motioning to the railing like he was gonna peal it off the building and swing it at me.

I smiled softly at him "hey…" but he replied with a sigh and looked away, so I placed a soft hand on his shoulder "hey…you…you know what we have between us." I spoke with a calm tone as we listened to the rain pour down on the school.

"I know…" he replied "I can't fight it anymore…"  
I stepped closer and leaned in "than don't…" he turned to me…and the space between our lips closed…and he stole my first kiss.

Neither of us understood this force. They say when you meet that one special person…you just know. Some nights I would stay up all night thinking about Shizu-chan. I would think over and over the feelings I have towards him. It felt like, when we were together, the whole world shut us out, and without each other, we were alone.

Shizuo didn't like being alone.

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**_~ To Be Continued ~  
_**

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**_Sorry for the lack of depth, I'm not feeling to confident with this one, but i know it will get better  
it basically is Izaya writing a journal entry on the relationship between he and Shizuo  
im struggling a bit with the POV detail but i promise the story will be a page turner!  
Also just a quick update im planning a "Fic Boom" soon. its where one specail day all my loving fans will be blown up becuz i will in the middle of the night post alot of new fics and chapters :D im already saving up for the specail mystery night so keep ur eyes open for the Fic Fairy!_**


	2. Drunk from hate

**_PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO NAMES! THE P. CHANGE WITH OUT WARNING!  
Here is chapter two since I am trying to actually finish this before I lose interest. Enjoy~_**

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We graduated from the academy and Izaya and I kept a close relationship under the table. I thought I had this under control…but it frustrated me. He seemed to have the ability to get under my skin and not just that, but it was easy for him. He was like a bug and some days I just wanted to squish him.

I know he used me for his own damn interest. Sometimes I felt like nothing more but entertainment to him. He called me his "interesting little animal." Like I wasn't human, and he wanted to discover the difference. I didn't like that; I didn't like being treated like an animal. But that didn't give me the right to use him too… I used him as an outlet for my anger.

I was so drunk with hate I started even using the sex as a way to release the tension…I hurt him in bed. Repeatedly. I saw the pained looks, sometimes the corner eye tears, I knew I was hurting him, he knew I was doing it on purpose, but no one said anything. It was the elephant in the bed.

Sex was the only time I could hurt him… outside of the bedroom, as we continued our staged street fights to keep up our reputations, even when I lost control of my anger, and did try to hit him, I would always miss. So…I took advantage of Izaya's trust. He trusted me, gave him body to me and trusted me to be gentle.

I made sure to leave marks.

_High off of love, drunk from my hate,  
It's like I'm huffing paint and I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate  
And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me  
She fucking hates me and I love it._

What I don't understand is slowly after the abuse surfaced, I never understood why he stayed. Despite all the bruises and bite marks, he willing came back the next night, knowing he would fall asleep with more. But he just kept coming back…for that, I respected him. I cuddled him every night, and started to whisper the words he deserved _"I love you…"_

He eased my suffering. I never understood why he bothered but it proved to me he really did have a heart. After High School life got rough. I got a bad reputation and was dropping jobs like rain. Life was cruel and I felt like the world was shutting me out, afraid of my strength, but I was never alone because of Izaya.

One night I came home in a rage…I broke some plates and punched a hole in the wall, another job was dropped, and to add insult to injury a damn gang member thought he could mess with me when all I wanted to do was go home and have a drink over the bad day. Izaya should have been scared, he should have left me. But he didn't…he waited 'till I was calm so he wouldn't be caught in my cross fire. Then he came to my dark little room, brought me a drink, a cigarette, and a lighter. Gave me as shoulder rub as I puffed out some stress… then when I was done, he laid me down, kissed me tenderly and told me he loved me.

I don't know what I would have done if Izaya wasn't there to save me from my anger.

It's for that reason I grew dangerously obsessed with him, to the point I was to desperate to keep him with me. He saved me from my rage, and I grew possessive. To the point I couldn't afford him to leave me.

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**_.:ToBeContinued:._**


End file.
